Worse Inventor: Stu Pickles or Dr. Doofenshmirtz?

*Editors Note: If you do not watch Phineas and Ferb there is something wrong with you. Stop reading this and go watch it. But like actually.*

This seemingly simple question has had the suits in Washington in uproar for quite some time now. If you were wondering why the economy stinks, or why a recent college grad with a pretty solid resume and wonderful communications skills cannot get a job, this is why. Everyone of importance has been arguing about this query. Well, fight no more folks; Ya Boy is here to settle the score.

The question is who the worse inventor is: Stu Pickles or Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Now, the answer is relative, because clearly Doof’s inventions are more intricate and complex, and arguably overall “better” then what Stu has produced over the years. But we have to take into consideration the end motive of each of these so called “inventors.” Stu Pickles is an inventor by trade, trying only to create successful inventions to earn some income and support his family (“This invention will put Pickles Toys on the map!”). Doof invents things in feeble attempts to take over the Tri State Area and/or revenge. And by revenge I mean getting back at the hot dog vendors who spoiled his bratwurst street conglomerate. He also invents purely for making small, meaningless tasks much more complicated, such as launching Big Ben into Danville because his watch is too small to read, and getting a bigger clock would be too much of a hassle.

Now that we have the end motives out of the way, let’s carry on to the debate. I have broken it down into 3 different categories to see who the worse inventor truly is. Of course, it’s up to you, the reader, to decide for yourself who is worse. This is simply just a much more qualified blogger’s personal opinion.

Greatest Achievement

Stu Pickles reached the height of his inventing career when he built a giant robot Reptar to be featured in live shows at EuroReptarland (the fact that it broke down and they made an entire movie based on the fact that he had to go back and fix it is beside the point). This is absolutely stunning considering up to this point he had not shown much success with previous inventions. Pickles Toys, the alleged company that he started, is basically only Stu inventing things in his basement such as the Bonkomatic Baby Bumper and Mr. Friend doll….aka stuff for Tommy and co. to mess around with. Not exactly a good business model there Stu.

Doof’s greatest achievement was winning the Inator Creator contest (by default). He destroyed everyone else’s inators, and won with his Eradicate Rodney’s Inator-inator. Not surprisingly, he had to cheat to obtain victory. Considering that Doof’s mission is to control the entire Tri-State Area, this achievement is nothing to write home about.

Edge: Stu Pickles

 

Notable Inventions

Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s list of inventions has been well documented. He was tired of waiting in lines, so he promptly created the Copy and Paste-inator, making copies of him to do it for him. In a plan to flood the streets of Danville, he stayed ahead of the curve by creating the Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport (BO-AT). He even took some of his terrible inventions and created the Very Very Bad Inator. This is just a small sample that heads a list of notable inventions coming out of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

Stu Pickles has made some equally interesting inventions in his own right. He once attempted to invent a doll for girls named “Patty Pants.” Unfortunately, this doll never saw success due to the fact that instead of it saying, “I need a hug,” Stu can only get it to say, “I need a diaper change.” Sidebar: given the fact that someone had to speak those words for the doll to say it, why did he even bother throwing that phrase in there? Another memorable invention was the “Quack-O-Matic.” This was a duck shaped weather vane that could tell weather forecasts, tell the time and temperature in other cities, and predict earthquakes…but unfortunately not tell wind direction. This only led to more trouble, because he fell off the house while installing it, causing to act like a baby. Also, since when did “acting like a baby” turn into “I can now understand my one year old son when he speaks?”

Edge: Doof. His inventions here possibly could have done some damage to the Tri-State Area if not for Agent P. Stu is just making low quality products that accomplish almost nothing of value.

Reason For Failure

Both “inventors” have their setbacks. Two things are for sure: they are both not very good at being inventors, and both have clear enemies standing in their way. Doof’s misguided attempts at ruling the Tri-State Area are always, every single time, foiled by Agent P. Stu’s inventions are always either blowing up or being misused by Tommy and the gang. So it’s basically what do you consider more pathetic, a platypus or a baby destroying your hopes and dreams?

For Stu, babies can be hassles. No one would argue that. I mean, how many times have you had a baby get in the way of something you were trying to do? None? Exactly. But we all know that they can be a handful, and when you make the life choice to be a work at home dad living off of your wife’s part time teaching job (beyond questionable financial strategy) and babysitting every one of your friends kids every day, well you can up that handful to a full on nightmare. Sure he makes strides by putting up a baby gate leading to the basement aka Pickles Toys Factory, but it’s never enough. Considering the limited amount of actual babysitting he does, it’s no wonder things aren’t going his way. You chose this life Stu. You made your bed and now you gotta lay in it. Get a real job guy.

As for Doof, he routinely gets thwarted by Agent P. This is pathetic because it’s a platypus…they don’t do much. But to Agent P’s credit, this platypus is way smarter than Doof. He just needs to recognize that the playing field is unfair. Doof is j trying to get his evil on, and the higher power of good keeps shutting him down. Credit to him for keeping on his grind. But maybe it’s time for a switch of focus…get rid of Agent P and then take over the Tri-State Area. #Jusssayin. But much like Stu, Doof chose this life. I mean, he is an active member of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., which is basically a plea for a secret agent animal to blow up your zone. Go incognito bro. Just quit the game for a few, take some time off, and come back stronger than ever. It’s easy to lose sight and want the domination now, but these things take time. Again, #jusssayin.

Edge: Both are terribly pathetic. Edge goes to Doof since he’s getting flat out beat. Stu needs a reality check, and he needed it like 13 years ago.

Final Verdict

We must take into account that both inventors are meant to be bad. They provide us humorous setbacks, and comical failures. Neither is meant to succeed, and that is why they are both great characters.

With that said, considering everything, this blogger says Stu Pickles is the worse inventor. Granted he did create the robot Reptar, clearly it was a half-assed job. The thing was put together with rubber bands for cryin out loud. He needs a real job if he wants to send All Grown Up Tommy to college. Make some real money bro.

~ Ya Boy

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