Classic Books

Here at FDAB, it seems like we are always trying to compare shows or pit movies against each other. Which one is better? Or, who ya got? While that’s all fine and dandy, today I’d like to simply call your attention to some classic book series’ that we all used to love back in the day buffet. And for the record, the books I am about to mention have made appearances on TV/will be on TV in the near future, so all the haters out there can shut it. (Sidebar: the fact that we have haters speaks volumes to what we are doing here at FDAB as well as our overall web presence.)

Animorphs – K.A. Applegate

I LOVED these books. Just a couple kids who meet an alien and then all of sudden can turn into animals. Genius! What 8 year old wasn’t all about that plotline? Aliens were trying to take over, and a couple of animorphing kids are tasked with stopping it. Plus, one of their boys was actually an alien who could morph into a kid…more gold! These books were so well written that my siblings and I pretended to be the Animorphs in the basement (this was circa the time when Lil Spoon still ate backwards lunches and YB was fresh off a life changing game of Extreme Indoor Duck, Duck, Goose). The great thing about these books was you had to read them in order to get the whole story, not just a random collection of different, unrelated stories like some of the other series’ I will mention. Really taught me a lesson about doing things start to finish. Thanks K.A.!

A related note: I was convinced that there were only 6 of these books before I hit Wikipedia. To my horror, there are actually 54. What? Is this real life? How did I miss 48 books? Should I hit the library? To people who graduated college even go to the library? This sucks.

Goosebumps – R.L. Stine

The original 2 initials author, Mr. Stine brought scary and creepy tales to millions of children’s eyes. If you were anything like me, these books were sweet because I was never allowed to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark? So I could still get my fill of the heebie-jeebies while also claiming it was scholastic. Back in the day, reading was considered educational, so if you could snag a couple of Goosebumps books you were all set. Mom would stop nagging, and you could scare yourself to the point of pooping your pants all night long. Plus, they were good to bring into school for reading time because then you could make fun of the loser chick next to you reading things like Brian’s Winter or My Brother Sam is Dead. I’m sure if we went back and read these books now they wouldn’t be that scary, but that’s neither here nor there. Based on memory alone, these were great books to read. Plus, the word “Goosebumps” was always raised on the cover and felt cool…so there’s that.

The Adventures of The Bailey School Kids – Marcia T. Jones and Debbie Dadey

Remember these books? They were so awesome. Just crazy plotlines left and right. Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots, Martians Don’t Take Temperatures, Mrs. Claus Doesn’t Climb Telephone Poles and Robots Don’t Catch Chicken Pox. Like, how is Bailey School this infected with mythical creatures? Or are these kids just nut jobs? That was the best part of these books, they never really told you. The reader was left to decide what was real and what wasn’t. I think at the time I would have bet that these kids were right. Because to be honest, I agree that Leprachauns Don’t Play Basketball, or that Wizards Don’t Wear Graduation Gowns. I got your back, Bailey School Kids.

Captain Underpants – Dav Pilkey

This book series sums up everything that Lil Spoon embodied as a youngster. Poop jokes, diaper jokes and a dude running around in nothing but his underpants – this had all the makings of a Lil Spoon Book of the Year Award (editor’s note: not an actual award). I have to admit I thought they were pretty funny myself, even though I was way too old to be reading them. Every once in a while, our man Dav (sweet name guy) would come out with some sort of ‘activity’ book where you could control what happened and all that. Pretty innovative stuff given the high level of immaturity associated with each issue. This book series gains extra props from FDAB because of its controversy, apparently being banned in a lot of schools, with one high school going so far as to ban any and all Captain Underpants costumes. As an adult writing insanely immature stories, this had to have made our boy Dav smile. Also, if you are craving some Captain Underpants but don’t want to be caught dead reading it, you can take your little brother to see the movie, which this past year was given the green light by DreamWorks studio, so watch out for that. Long Live Captain Underpants.

Of course there were plenty of other good reads, but since they were not turned into television programs I can’t legally dive into them. I’m talking of course about books such as the Matt Christopher Sports series and The Fudge Series (Tales of a Fourth Grade Ya Boy). But since we’re here, there is a book that I absolutely hate and should never be read by anyone in school again. I’m looking at you Rolling Thunder, Hear My Cry. Just shut up already. I’m pretty sure I was required to read that thing like 3 years in a row and never did. To quote Peter Griffin, “It insists upon itself.”

So ignore that hate filled last few sentences, and maybe take a break from your busy day to revisit some of the classics. You know you want to…

~ Ya Boy

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