Hey, Where’s Perry?

Perry in this situation is clearly a metaphor for the two ya boys who write/dominate this blog. We have quietly not posted anything since February 11th, and if the goal is to start a worldwide phenomenon, then mishaps such as this cannot happen. Now, I am not here writing to you today with promises of “being better at posting” or “posting when we are supposed to” or anything like that. To be fair, we hired a new writer who was supposed to be posting this whole time but not so secretly has not posted once. Alas, the aforementioned writer can add scapegoat to an already long list of other misfortunes in his life.

But besides hiring the ugly barnacle to our staff, we have been creating quite an interesting concept for our major comeback. And by this of course I mean we spent 10 minutes on it once. But nevertheless if/when we post it, it will be absolutely glorious. You guys will sit in your chairs, jaws agape, and be absolutely speechless.  Get ready. Tell your friends. Hopefully you guys will think of us as…*not lame!*

Anyways, back to the lecture at hand. Perfection is perfected so ima let them understand.  But actually anyways since I so cleverly began this comeback post with a beautifully crafted metaphor about Perry the Platypus, I will wrap this guy up talking about a super hero who has the easiest job in the world.

Think about it! Concealing the identity of ones super hero-ness is often times a very hard and daunting task. But considering no one notices that Perry is ever gone until the end of the episode, that part is a breeze. Combine that with the fact that his only job is to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Doof is by far one of the worst evil villains in the game. Just constantly messing up his short sided inventions and what not. Perry the Winter Hatapus gets all the credit as a super good crime stopper, but really he just watches as Doof messes up, makes one or two athletic moves and boom problem solved. Plus, the crimes are never that serious or threatening so overall it’s just no biggie.

However, this is not a hate blog against Perry. In fact, I envy his Situation. Think about it. He’s a platypus, they don’t do much. Plus I assume that his double life leads to some very scandalous adventures with female platypuses and legendary forays in the platypus celeb world. This is probably definitely the case, so play on player. If my only job in life was to stop an idiot from sort of causing minor inconveniences to my respective Tri-State Area, and I received high praise from it, I would be pretty pumped.

So tell your friends, Backstreets Back, all right! But don’t say that because you’ll end up like this kid, and no one wants that. Just tell them that Fine Dining and Breathing is back to take over the world berry.

Until next time (which is who knows when!),

Ya Boy

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